My story…

I’ve been contemplating on writing this blog for months but today seems like a good day to do so…

I, too, have my own #MeToo story. It all started when I was 7.

I’m going to spare all the details because there is really no need for people to have to read about the horrible things that happened for four years. There was someone in my life that sexually abused me, repeatedly, for years.

Today, Feb. 13, 2018, 13 years after it ended, my abuser was arrested.

Why did it take so long? Well I never told anyone about it other than a few close friends. I didn’t tell an adult until this past July.

I had been in contact with the detectives for the past 7 months, providing as much details as I could remember. My friend that I had first told had been in contact with them to verify what I told her matched what I told them.

I didn’t know what to do, I was so afraid and that’s why I didn’t tell anyone for so many years. I knew it was wrong but I had trusted this person so I thought that they wanted what was best for me.

So for more than half of my life I’ve gone around not thinking I’m good enough to be loved by anyone. I’ve stayed in abusive relationships because I would think, “What if no one else will love me because of my past.” I’ve doubted myself in the biggest moments of my life. I’ve belittled my accomplishments, I’ve shrugged off complements after short periods of time and settled back into my self doubt. More than half of my life I’ve believed this happened to me because I wasn’t strong enough to stop it.

I’ve constantly felt damaged and unloveable. Always discounting my self worth and accepting half ass love from some people. I’ve blamed myself all these years, and if I’m being honest, I probably always will.

I don’t know where my case will go from here, the detective is supposed to give me more details by Friday. At this point I just feel like my world is spinning so fast.

I’ve been seeing a therapist since August, which wasn’t even prompted by reporting this to the sheriff, but my break up. I see her in just two short days. If anyone is on the fence about seeking help such as a therapist, I highly suggest it.

One of my dearest friends told me today, “it’s progress,” so that is exactly how I’m going to look at it.

I welcome anyone that wants to, to feel free to reach out to me. I’m here for all of you, and I always will be.